One of the most frequently asked questions we receive from soulmate seekers in our community is “how important is chemistry in finding your perfect match”?
You’ve probably had the experience of going out on a date and not feeling that magic “spark.” Is it a sign that they’re not “the one” or should you pursue the connection anyway?
Studies show that a stunning 9 times out of 10 your first impression of potential partner is just plain WRONG. Which means, you may be deleting your Soulmate’s messages from your inbox because you don’t connect with their online profile picture or dismissing them after one date because they didn’t look how you had imagined your beloved to be made manifest in physical form.
During the Summit, in her Soulmate Seminar “Getting in Sync with the Opposite Sex: The Secrets Men and Women Need to Know About Each Other to Create Deep, Lasting Love,”Alison Armstrong shared a profound insight about how chemistry can actually develop in the process of getting to know someone who’s the right person on all other levels – she calls it “The Adam Sandler Effect.”
Here’s what she shared:
“So what we encourage is for women to take advantage of something that we call the Adam Sandler effect. I named it the Adam Sandler effect, because when I first saw him in a movie I thought, “Who was the idiot who cast this as a leading man?” And then, about a half hour later I’m thinking, “He’s kind of cute.” And then, about a half hour after that I’m like, “Oh, kiss him, kiss him, not the other guy, just kiss him!”
You know that way that they grow on us? So, I call it the Adam Sandler effect, the way that a man grows on us and becomes attractive. And so if a woman sorts her men by who is she herself around, who makes her feel beautiful instead of awkward, who makes her feel smart and funny, and who is she naturally being herself with, they’re never going to be men that she has a strong chemistry for, they are all going to be the men that she is not attracted to physically.
If she looks at who these men are and then goes, “Okay, so who should I give a chance to?” and instead of paying attention to all them she finds unattractive, start paying attention to what she does. Like, “Wow, he really does have a strong nose, that’s actually kind of sexy, his nose.” She can cause the Adam Sandler effect and develop chemistry, which is of course exciting, but at a much lower, safer level that won’t turn her into a complete idiot.
We call it a “minni-ninni.” The Adam Sandler effect turns you into a “minni-ninni,” but by the time it takes place you’ve already established the foundation of honesty and authenticity that when you get weird, he’ll go, “Why are you being so weird?”
You can say, “Well, I just got really physically attracted to you.” And he’ll be like, “Oh, cool. Now quit acting so stupid.”