One of the joys of meditating and mindfulness is that you get to know yourself better. It’s not always easy because we have to face the dark side too! As we start to live more mindfully we become more aware of our thoughts and feelings and start to act on them less (hopefully!). We also start to notice patterns and how particular situations can trigger a strong reaction and leave us feeling hurt, upset or angry. We are only human and it can be dangerous to suppress these feelings because they will only resurface at a later date. However we can choose how we respond.
So what to do? As I try to live more ethically I always try to respond with love; firstly to myself and then to the person who may have done something that upset me. It’s usually the ones closest to us, our family and friends, who push our buttons the most anyway. It’s not easy because my first thoughts are usually to start blaming them for how they have acted. I try to remember that everyone is doing their best and it’s not personal even though it may feel like it. Everyone is a result of their conditions and if something upsets me I can look back and see how similar situations have provoked the same reaction. However I know that if I do respond skilfully in a loving way I will feel better about myself and I’m creating a better world for those around me too. If someone does something that hurts us the chances are they are hurting too so don’t they deserve love too? We all do. I still allow myself to feel what I’m feeling and by acknowledging the negative emotions it takes the power away from them.
Here’s to creating a more loving world one step at a time. Compassion is a radical act. The people or situations we have difficulty with can be our biggest teachers. Look at how the Dalai Lama responds to the way his people have been treated by the Chinese. What a wonderful example.