I confess I’m an incurable romantic. I love the notion of a man sweeping me off my feet and we fall madly in love. However I also have my feet on the ground and know that love is a verb and takes commitment from both parties.
I went out with someone a few times and at the end of the first date he said he thought there was ‘chemistry ‘ between us. I wasn’t sure but I knew I liked him as a person.
On the second date we were kissing and he said he hoped we could one day spend the night together and still be friends. I said no, I’m 53 and want a serious relationship so not until we have that. He was a great kisser but I was determined I wasn’t going to get carried away!
On the 3rd date we were having lunch and I noticed how blue his eyes were and his lovely smile. That evening I realised I was starting to fall for him. I haven’t seen him since.
He had said I had made an impression on him the first time we met in 1993. Which I guess is why he then pursued me 23 years later. I certainly remembered him and liked him but I didn’t fancy him. Besides we were both married to other people at the time so it wouldn’t have crossed my mind.
I wonder if he had built up this fantasy version of me and then he discovered I wasn’t perfect and a bit insecure. I’m not passing judgement – I’ve done it many a time myself. I’ve also fallen into the trap of falling for someone’s potential in the past.
So while there can be strong attraction at first sight love takes time to grow. I’m holding out for a man who is prepared to give it time too.