Making good habits fun

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Good habits don’t have to be boring. The picture above is my ‘choices’ bag. I returned from a retreat in October and I wanted to find a more creative way to stay  ‘in the gap.’ This is the space between something happening and responding to it. Most of the time we react without thinking about it. I have been meditating and practising mindfulness for over 10 years now and one of the downsides is that I am very aware of my bad habits! I am learning to be kinder to myself and instead of beating myself up replacing them with better ones. It is much harder to stay with our experience when we are upset or bored so we find something to distract us – usually something addictive like social media, alcohol, cigarettes etc.

In my choices bag are coloured cards. On the yellow different meditations, the pink different forms of exercise, the blue different writing activities and the green different inspiring ideas of something to read. I keep it by my bed and I pick out one of each colour as soon as I wake up. I am not one for a day to day routine so this works for me because I love stationery and I don’t know what I am going to choose it makes each day’s activities different. It can be hard to stay motivated when you are working at home. Another reason it works is that of course I have only put on the cards things I enjoy doing. There is no point me putting going to the gym on a pink card because that will never happen so I have doing yoga, going for a walk or bike ride or swim.

Sometimes they don’t all happen so I have to remember to be kind to myself as life gets in the way. However in less than three weeks I have established a daily writing habit, something I was struggling to do before.  If you struggle to get motivated please feel free to contact me about coaching.

Thank you for reading and have fun today!

 

Break ups

‘Relationships are both built up and torn down in the subtlest of ways.’ Jeff Olson from ‘The Slight Edge’

I’m talking about business relationships here but have just discovered for myself they can be just as painful – if not more so – than personal relationship break ups. To be let down by a business associate after you have helped them rebuild their business is far more hurtful than being let down by a lover, at least in that instance you can just walk away. There are constant reminders and as a result I have lost 2 other friends too.

The hurt I feel about the way I have been treated is agonising to say the least but once I acknowledge the way I feel it does ease. That is one of the first things that I learned in my meditation group to notice the way you feel but not to get attached to it. We can beat ourselves up that we have let someone get to us or accept that that is how we feel. Acceptance enables us to move on and learn from the experience.

I discussed this with Lisa Turner of Psychademy about this. Lisa specialises in Energy Transmutation and using your psychic powers. She reassured me that because I felt like this I was actually doing it right!

I don’t have to – I get to!

I would like to thank Erica Jones for this. I think this a good exercise for everyone and remind themselves why they are doing what they are doing!

When you don’t have to do anything, everything seems possible. 

When you get to do something, it becomes a privilege.

I am so glad not to be an employee any more and I took a few minutes to think about why.

When I was an employee some of the things  ‘I had to’:-

  • Be at work at 8 o’clock
  • Take holiday during school holidays (I was a teacher)
  • Beg for time off to see my children’s assemblies and sports days and then set cover work
  • Attend pointless staff and departmental meetings every week
  • Get paid in arrears on the date the council decided
  • Send my children to an after school club which they hated

Now I work at home ‘I get to’:-

  • See my children off to school every day (and give them a lift sometimes if it’s raining!)
  • Be at home when they come home and talk about their day
  • Attend all their class assemblies and sports days
  • Have a cup of tea when I like
  • Have lunch with my friends
  • Have a bath in the middle of the day
  • Start working at a time that suits me (I don’t really function well before 11am)
  • Pay someone else to do my paperwork if I choose
  • I have learned to be happy with who I am instead of expecting someone else to make me happy
  • Buy my food every day as I need it instead of a stressed out weekly shop at the supermarket
  • If I need to go to London I can get a later train and avoid all the commuter rush
  • Spend most of my day doing what I enjoy
  • Sometimes I take my kids out of school for the day and we do something fun instead

Yes it takes motivation and self-discipline but with those compelling reasons what more motivation do you need?

So what would you like to ‘get to do’ today?

Meet Kenny and Erica Jones – the ‘Travelling Entrepreneurs.’